And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
