what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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