i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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