I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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