He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
