You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
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