If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize
