some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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