ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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