one might say we're banned from that church
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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