Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Can you bring me the toilet please
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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