If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
