You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
