Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
