it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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