Who did Billy Mays play for?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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