hell yes lets make some ravioli
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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