i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
