my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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