I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize