No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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