you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
