conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
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