Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Randomize
