is your mom at the bar?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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