shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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