You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
