I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
