Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
