Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
