so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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