Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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