We won't sleep together?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
