guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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