I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
