Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
