Buhtt sex?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
