We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
