You work out of a Hotel?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
