i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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