That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
