What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
