I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were trust falling into bushes
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
