That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
