3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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