blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
