All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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