We're like a lot better than the average bears
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
