I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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