he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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